Civil or religious marriage first? What's sensible in the Netherlands?

Many couples who want to marry run into this question: do you do the nikah first, or the civil marriage first? The short answer is clearer than you might think: in the Netherlands, the law prescribes that the civil marriage comes first. So it isn't a free choice. On this page we explain what the law says exactly, why that order exists, how to plan both in practice, and why it's sensible to arrange them both.

The short answer: civil first, that's the law

In the Netherlands, a religious marriage ceremony, such as the nikah, may only take place after the civil marriage has been performed. That's in article 1:68 of the Civil Code. The order is therefore laid down in law: first the municipality, then the religious union.

That rule isn't optional. Article 449 of the Criminal Code makes it a punishable offence for the person who performs the religious ceremony if there's no civil marriage yet. The rule is aimed at the minister of religion, for example the one who conducts the nikah, not at the couple themselves, but it shows how seriously the legislator takes this order.

In short: the question "civil first or religious first" has only one legally correct order in the Netherlands, and that's civil first.

Why people doubt this anyway

If the law is so clear, why does the question come up so often? There are a few understandable reasons.

Some people feel the nikah is the "real" wedding before God and the community, and the civil marriage a formality at the municipality. From that feeling, it seems logical to want to start with the nikah. Others know it from countries where a religious marriage is legally sufficient, and assume it works the same here. And still others want to do only the nikah and postpone or skip the civil part, for financial or personal reasons.

Those feelings are understandable, but they don't change the Dutch rule. And more importantly: a nikah alone without a civil marriage leaves you legally unprotected. What that means exactly for your rights, you can read in is an Islamic marriage legally valid in the Netherlands. And whether it can be done at all, and what you miss out on then, is covered in can you conclude a nikah without a civil marriage in the Netherlands.

How to plan it in practice

The good news is that the fixed order rarely gets in your way in practice. For most couples it goes smoothly.

Many people plan the civil marriage and the nikah shortly after each other, sometimes even on the same day or in the same weekend: the municipality in the morning, then the nikah. That way you comply with the law and experience the religious union as the heart of the day. Another commonly chosen route is to arrange the civil marriage first and do the nikah a few days or weeks later, for example to give both moments their own space.

Whatever you choose in terms of timing, the order stays the same: the civil part first. How the nikah itself unfolds and what it involves, you can read in what a nikah is and in the conditions for a valid nikah. And the whole from getting to know someone to marriage we describe in the steps of an Islamic marriage.

Why it's best to arrange both

The sensible advice is simple: do both. Not because the law requires it, but because it protects you and because most couples feel better for it.

With only a nikah you're religiously married, but not in the eyes of Dutch law. That has practical consequences at moments that really matter, such as inheritance, pension, and your position in an unexpected divorce. For the woman especially, a nikah alone can work out unfavourably. The civil marriage fills exactly that legal gap.

By arranging both, in the right order, you're religiously and legally properly married. That's the peace of mind you want at the start of a marriage.

Equally important to stress

This article gives general information about the order and Dutch law. It isn't legal advice, and it isn't a religious ruling either. For the religious side of your marriage, an imam or trusted scholar is the right person; for your specific legal situation, the municipality, a notary, or a family law attorney.

Frequently asked questions

Can you marry religiously first and then civilly in the Netherlands?

No. The law (article 1:68 of the Civil Code) prescribes that the civil marriage comes before the religious ceremony. The order is civil first.

Can you do the nikah and the civil marriage on the same day?

Yes, many couples do. As long as the civil part takes place first, the nikah may follow that same day.

What if you do only a nikah, without a civil marriage?

Then you're religiously married but not legally, and you miss the protection of the civil marriage. For the woman especially, that can be disadvantageous.

Isn't the nikah "the real" marriage then?

Religiously, the nikah is a full marriage. But legally, only the civil marriage counts in the Netherlands. That's why it's best to arrange both.

Want to arrange things the right way and in the right order from the start? At Vesile, everything revolves around a serious introduction with the intention to marry, with an eye for both the religious and the Dutch practice.